It Came Back

Something that I lost, a long time ago, perhaps almost two years ago or more, finally came back to me.  I finally found it! I remember being so upset when I lost it and trying so hard to find it but I couldn't ever find it.  I tried so many times and so many things to get my little treasure back and it was just...gone...forever! Ugh...the agony.  But finally I had to give up.  I had to let it go and move on which for me is extremely hard to do.  But I had to do this or drive myself crazy obsessing over this. And so I did.  I gave up the search and moved on. Then two years later I found it.  Just like that...it appeared.  I just happened to stumble over it so simply and easily that it shocked me especially after all the time and effort I had put into searching for it.  But, there it was just where I had left it.  It was an amazing feeling to find something that I had literally buried my soul in and gave me such comfort in a time in my life that was so confusing, to finally have it back in my hands.  Honestly, it was so overwhelming to have it again that I've kind of been a little obsessed with it.  I mean, I'm blogging about this little treasure.  But it's really not about my lost treasure, it's about the way that treasure made me feel. I could use this as an escape.  I can look back to where I was in those moments and where I am today and just breathe and be happy and release.  I made it!  I really did make it to the other side and all of those memories, are the building blocks for my future.  Mostly, I feel like I have a piece of myself back. A piece of me that has been missing for a while.  I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but it will.  In time it will.

What is it that was so special to me that finally came back into my life?  It was my music.  I found all of my old play lists that I had buried somewhere deep in my computer and couldn't recover.  Listen, I am not the most technically savvy girl...that's why I went to the Apple store and the Apple guy couldn't get them back for me.  So you can imagine my surprise when I was fooling around on my computer and suddenly there they were. All of the songs that I put together to help me get through tough times, joyful times and just starting over times.  These songs unlocked a part of me that has been kept under lock and key for a very long time.  They represent a new start.  They represent all of my fire, my spirit, my drive, my passion and the sheer determination that is embedded in me for the best life I can possibly live.  And so, it begins. Right here and now.  First with this blog, and next with the book I'm working on.  So, as I go along my journey, I hope all of the special people in my life will go along too.  Here's to 2012!