Coming Alive

There are so many movies that have been done about women being lost in what the various stereotypes society casts us in. We become lost in the corporate world, as in being so "buttoned up" and closed off that we do not let anyone near us or in to our true selves.  Some of us become lost in the role of wife or mother that we cannot identify with anyone who is not a wife or mother.  These are just some of the more popular scenarios that have been depicted.  But in every movie, book, story, the woman is triggered by someone or something that brings her back to her true self meaning she reclaims her woman hood and remembers what it's like to be a woman again. Because all of us from time to time forget.  We type cast ourselves as a daughter, sister, mother, grandmother, student, VP, CEO, wife, and so on and so on.  However even though we are all these things, we are first a woman with healthy carnal urges to be adored, admired, seduced, loved and sensual.  Feeling this way I find makes me a better friend, lover, daughter, sister, or whatever role I'm playing for the day because inside I feel amazing about myself knowing that someone sees me as the woman that I am.  I remember the director Adrian Lyne talking about the movie he made with Diane Lane, "Unfaithful".  This movie was so controversial, but  the director Mr. Lyne who also directed "Fatal Attraction", when interviewed about "Unfaithful" stated that it was really about the journey of the female character,Connie, played by Diane Lane,  and what it takes for a woman to come alive again, which ironically is not much.  After being suppressed to mother and wife, her new role in life, someone triggered something in her that made her feel that incarnate spirit of what it feels like to be a woman, to feel desired, wanted, loved just for being the woman that she naturally was before she suppressed that need to attend to others needs.  And he went on to say that you can see the transition in her instantly when it happens to her. You can see when she finally let's go and returns to her femininity and puts the labels aside for just a moment to regain a part of herself that we as women are trained by society that we must give up in order to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister, CEO, VP and so on.  I beg to differ.  I know that for me, my business, my personal relationships, my family, my friends, everything in my life is so much better when I've channeled this energy.  It's intoxicating and the people around you get drunk on it, and so do I.  It's beautiful. It's carnal. It's natural.  In "Unfaithful", something or someone made her sparkle again and she knew it, owned it and embraced it as a part of her.  There is something to be said about that.  I feel as if I'm going through something like that myself as if you couldn't tell.  Something or someone has triggered that part of me that has reminded me of how to be a woman again, and once more, I quite like it. Actually, I love it.  I can't get enough of it. It feels natural, sexy, and comforting in a way.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm in my thirties now and feel more sound, confident and settled or if there is indeed a trigger.  All I know is it is beautiful.  I look around me and see so many women who have simply forgot how to be a woman.  They do not take care of themselves the way that they should.  This might sound narcissistic but a woman should worship herself as she wants to be worshiped.  I'm not talking biblical, so don't get uptight about this.  God himself said to men..."love your wives as Christ loved the church".  So why is it that women forget that and discount themselves?  Why is it that a woman becomes last on the "food chain"?  Listen, I know as a mother you must take care of your children first and foremost. But also being a good mother means that you must also take care of yourself too.  You are the example for your children and they soak up everything we do.  Show them how to take care of themselves and others by taking care of you!  I do know a lot of mothers, my friends who still make themselves look great when they are out in public or even in the privacy of their own homes with their husbands.  That is part of being a woman.  For me lately, I felt this spirit come alive. It is like an insatiable fire that I cannot put out and quite frankly I don't want to put it out.  I want it to grow.  I'm embracing it and trying not to ask questions which is very hard for me, but I'm going with it.  I just wonder if Adrian Lyne is right....can you see me coming alive? I think that you can because this is something that even I cannot hide, and nor do I want to.  It feels too damn good.