Do the Work

Lately, actually very recently, I have become frustrated with some people in my life.  Some close friends, some colleagues, some family and of course some people that I haven't even met.  I haven't been able to put my finger on it as to what exactly it is that they are doing to annoy me, but trust me the annoyance is there nevertheless.  Beginning this summer I went through this..."thing".  A metamorphosis if you will.  Some of these awakenings were amazing and experiences I will never forget.  Some of it was very, very painful, and stressful and exhausting.  It was as if I was happy one minute and sad and frustrated the next.  I was all over the place.  Seriously, as if I was exercising the demons once and for all.  Well, I do believe that was the case.  But the same frustration I have felt the past few months or so, I have felt this past week.  It's back!  I didn't understand it until today.  I didn't get it until I was running today, and then again when I was in yoga class I was reminded of my epiphany on a deeper level.  My company just went through a down sizing.  Literally last week I had to stay home one day from work and wait for a phone call to tell me whether or not I was still employed.  I told you I was in a cut-throat business!  Well, I was one of the lucky ones this time.  I was saved.  Today we had the pleasure of meeting our new teams and managers beginning in January.  I have worked and met with all of my future team members and my new manager.  When I was asked today what I wanted in a team member, I instinctively responded without hesitation, that I wanted someone who would do what's right for the business, loyal and trustworthy.  Then it dawned on me as to why I have been irritated this past week.  One reason is because, as I looked around the room, I noticed that my own partner of almost two years was so quick to flip the switch and blend into the new team and district.  I noticed that yesterday at a meeting we had with our current partners. She has already cashed in and her loyalty was no longer to me, and not even to our manager who has helped us grow beyond our imagination.  Her loyalty was and is to herself.  And I noticed that in each of my new partners, and some existing.  What a let down.  These are the people who do just enough to get by but will allow someone else to do the work while they reap the rewards. This is hot button for me.  Not only in business, but in my personal life too.  There have been people in my life who have been happy to sit back and enjoy the ride, while I do all of the emotional, spiritual and mental work in the relationship.  They are the life suckers.  They literally will suck the life out of you if you allow them.  They have their own issues they need to work on but in someway, if they can get you to be their friend, lover, confidant, partner, etc. that in itself does the work for them.  Why?  Because they live off the fantasy that is in their own minds while you are dealing with reality.  And when you try to get some work out of them....it is a battle.  So why do we or I hang on to these people that exhaust us of our resources?  Why do we allow them to still be in our lives if all they do is create havoc?  I don't know the answer, but at least now I know the problem and I know the perpetrators.  So, now I can do the work of getting back to my life and allowing them to get back to theirs.