The Truth About Love

Have you missed me?  I like to think that I'm writing to dear friends who have missed hearing from me.  I know, it's silly but it is comforting to me.  I have missed you.  I have been traveling for my day job and have had no time to write, and really I haven't been inspired to write, until today.  Where I am in the world the weather is changing.  It's fall.  Fall represents a season of change and I for one can literally feel it in the air.  I feel it in my own life.  I am changing and it is so very good and so very big and I just can't control it, as hard as I have tried.  As I'm writing this I'm watching the fountain spilling over into the pond and as the water moves, steam escapes from it.  It is like it has been contained for so long that when it spills out, there is so much heat and energy that it releases the effects of that energy which is the steam.  It is so beautiful.  It reminds me of how I am feeling today and how I have been feeling lately.  It's difficult to articulate so I will start with a book.  This summer I engaged myself in reading a series of a book that ultimately turned out to be a love story.  As I was reading these books I was reminded of love, and the truth about love.  I can identify that feeling the characters in the book shared because I too have experienced that.  I was much younger than I am now and it was my first experience in love.  I remember how I felt and how different it was than any other love I had ever had in my life up until then or even after the relationship ended.  I became so involved with these books that it literally effected every part of my life.  I even wrote several entries in my blog about the art of a woman "coming alive".  Not only do I stand behind every single one of those entries, but I am so grateful and in awe of the experience.  It helped me to let go and move beyond somethings and people that I had been holding onto that really needed to disappear from my life.  So, as I am reading the books, I am reminded of the truth about love.  I am reminded of what love really is.  I am also reminded that I only felt that way once, perhaps two times in my life. And when I did, it truly was a magical thing.  It was as if all the stars had aligned for that perfect moment of when the two of us met.  The butterflies in your belly every single time when you see each other.  The not wanting to be the first person to hang up the phone or end the conversation.  The ultimate and pure joy of the first kiss, touch, intimacy.  And the intimacy that is created and shared in the most simplest of ways as in a look you give each other across the room, a gentle hand grasp when no one is looking or by a special language that is spoken between the two of you verbal or non-verbal that is only yours and yours alone.  And most of all, your biggest fear in life becoming and remaining of the thought or chance that you could loose each other.  That all of this happiness, completeness and fulfillment could end at any moment.  You become scared to death that you will loose this person forever.  That is love.  That is the truth about love.  I think that in life, we all build up walls.  Either because we have found love and lost it and therefore in order of getting hurt again, we create our own version of what love is.  For some, love is how a couple looks on paper.  For example, great jobs/careers, they both make great money, they love similar things, they have lots in common and if anyone would look at their relationship from afar they would think to themselves "Wow, they are so great together. They've got it all."  But behind closed doors it is very different.  They have to work at their connection.  Their intimacy is off.  Their communication is non existent until they are with others and then the show begins.  How do I know this?  Because I was in a relationship just like this.  I knew something was wrong but chose to ignore it until I realized that the rest of my life could be like this unless I changed something immediately.  I have struggled with that decision but I knew it was the right one.  I knew that I couldn't possibly be the woman that he wanted because he was not the man I wanted.  I couldn't put my finger on it until I read these books and that helped to re-comfirm every decision I've ever made about any relationship since my first one.  My first love, the first man and one of the two I felt that true love for, taught me one essential thing that I didn't remember until lately which was, that is what love is suppose to feel like.  That is what life is all about, love.  That love, is worth fighting for.  That is why when you feel that love, you do come alive.  It's your souls cry being answered.  It is Godly and right.  And that is what I have fought to get back in my life.  I will not settle for "paper love".  And no one should.  So, as one of my business clients told me to "take a chance".  I did, and found everything.  I found the love.